Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Lifting the Rubber...and sitting in Bubbling hot water... UPDATES OF THE LEBANESE GYM EXPERIENCE

Working out… It hasn’t happened much recently but now… I am a MEMBER at LIFESTYLES! The gym is wonderful. Yes I’ll get to the not so hot but right now lemme give them the props they deserve. Yeah the architecture is so nice it’s… WHACK! Mmm They have a Turkish bath AND a sauna that isn’t overpopulated or stinky like the one in Las Salinas but that is a later post!
The instructors ROCK!!!
They are all completely cool guys well at least the ones I have had the pleasure of chatting to. Yes I work out like a bandit. Get the headphones on and I am gone to the world. Working out is WORKING not socializing so for the dudes who should be talking round the water cooler instead of taking a piece of equipment I want to use GO HANG SOMEWHERE ELSE! I’ve started working on the whole upper body deal and some days I honestly feel like I am stuck walking in orangutan posture. I hate the ripped guy walk! But I digress.
The equipment is ALL NAUTILUS! AND the Jacuzzi is something else too.
They have settings with jets at all the right levels. So you just walk along the wall and they hit each muscle height. They have this amazing bed for your back and neck that is just amazing as well.
They quackulated my % body fat at 7 and 6.5 wonder how that happened I feel a lot fatter than that! I so need to get into doing the small arc exercises I was instructed to do for my knee and it might actually stop clicking when it stabilizes. Then it is on to MEGA HILL TRAINING! I’ve been a bit negligent with the cardio which of course means me paying for my sins soon. I should start after the exam tomorrow. Yeah I have an exam and I am typing a blog…
The thing is this blogging stuff is a great safety valve.
And on that note…now for the not so hot… The machines are all on the second floor… so every time someone opens the door to the track you get chlorine poisoning.
The track runs round on the second floor right above the pool so other than those who like coughing up bloody lungs I think the track is for show.
There is also a punching bag and other goodies but over the pool makes it all a bit silly. For the want of a few panes of glass the whole thing could be fixed BUT this IS LEBANON so that day will come when HELL FREEZES OVER!
The machines are ALL also TOO CLOSE TOGETHER!
The cardio section is smattered in front of a giant bank of TVs which is irritating to say the least.
It would be nice if they left at least one spinning bike upstairs for those of us who don’t need the blinking silly motivational LEDs to do some serious work on a saddle that won’t make us feel like we’ve been skewered in the prostate.
So after a workout this morning that took care of my legs but didn’t obliterate them I am here at campus waiting for CAPTAIN NOOBOO! He said he’d be in by 10…
but I think his pillow ATE HIM! Poor guy!
Anyhoo this MPH thing had to have some victims.
I was nearly one of them during the Epidemiology test. The first one involved an interesting Hypo partway through I asked for an exemption or stay of execution. I got told that the Israelites wanted the thief to live. Yup you guessed it MY BELOVED PROF with 20/20 HINDSIGHT said you could have told me you were having problems BEFORE THE TEST. But I wasn’t! I tested it and my Blood Sugar was FINE. It DROPPED IN THE EXAM not before it! He told me he had made his decision and that was that.
So until the next time Galactic Space Cadets this is Captain Otter…
telling you all to take your vitamins, do as your local and very rare uncorrupt policeman tells you, and brush your teeth after eating lollipops..

The sea road and return to the loving arms of Scarlet O'Hara...NO not her... ABOU KOKO!!

Well troops it has come!
They have lifted the ban on the Blog at the university.
Apparently some smart alleck thought I was writing porn.
I know my writing is good but ORGASMIC?
No even with my ego I know I'm not that good...unless it's in person. Well not even then probably.
Yeah so continuing on... I have been out on the bike.
I have ridden north and returned to the loving arms of Abou Koko with a blood sugar of 48.
Yes they thought it was a bit strange that your beloved blog author was walking along the street "hafle" and that they had to break a $100 to make change for my 10 kebab sandwich order.
I had parked the bike on the other side and proceeded to try to defy death and cross the road back from Tripoli into the Beirut port.
Big mistake nobody was stopping their cars for me.
Especially with me wearing what is in essence a wetsuit and looking like a sunglassed space alien.
The best bet at the time seemed to be unlocking the bike wheel and climbing up on the walkway that passes over the sukleen section of the street that lies right near the infamous mechanic where once I was stuck in a cab for 2 hours waiting as the lads of Lebanon decided to mourn one of their old presidents. But that is for another blog concerning the mourning process in Lebanon.
Right now we are dealing with Hypoglycemia and Abou Koko. It was after traversing over the footbridge to the other side of the street where the cabs and cars are whizzing off to Tripoli that I discovered them… BonIbon.
They are m&m's but they aren't m&m's they come in a little pill case that makes it feel so much like popping vicadin you can get addicted to the rattling sound the little candies make as they head for their last stop... your tummy!
Now Abou Koko is the spot that will live on in a place of honor among blogs of Beirut.
It is the best kebab joint in the ENTIRE COUNTRY!
Yes, Abou Koko is an Armenian mafia business.
They have one little shovel of charcoal over which… the best kebab in Lebanon is made and formed into an infarction waiting to happen!
And yes there is a fan near the coals much to the disbelief of every other individual in Lebanon who I’ve seen barbeque…
It works its wonders by keeping the coal hot and ash free reducing the burns caused by flare-ups because the oil fire burns out sideways instead of up on the meat and results in… well just the most fantabulous Kebab’s around.
It is that and the amazingly cheap price!
I mean Damn!
1 sandwich for 1500L a young man could really loose his amazing figure eating that much bread and meat a day!
Yes I have fallen for a sandwich here in Lebanon… Well of course that doesn’t include my stomach’s other mistress menaeesh!
What you don’t like that my tummy is a polygamist? Neither do I the rotten ungrateful thing never settles for long so I hope he at least hangs out for a while!
Now for a couple Abou Koko complaints… Yeah you knew it was coming… Well the sandwiches would be PERFECT IF… they just backed off on the whole onion parsley silliness the stuff leaves you with twigs sticking out of your teeth, and the whole having a solitary bone sliver ruined what coulda been a perfect date with a sandwich and my stomach.
*sorry this is a stacked post but… There are examinations to study for.